Sometimes

Life rarely goes the way we think it ought to go. Unexpected bumps, bruises, smiles and surprises could make up a single day. Today I realized that when that happens you must embrace it. It's a chance to learn, grow and discover. If reality is denied for too long the moments can seem produced and far from true. And accepting this turbulent reality means steping out of yourself and seeing that your actions and reactions affect those around you, even when you think they are not watching.
This summer I am blessed to have two jobs and one of them being a day camp counselor. Today was my first day. My plan to wake up at 6:30 am failed miserably as I ran out the door 20 minutes later than I had planned to leave. The weekend past had been an emotional one to say the least and had left me heart exhausted. My preocupied mind prompted me to miss my exit and find my way back amidst the morning rush of autos. It was at this point that I broke. Tear after tear streamed my face as I was overwhelmed with the reality that I may be late for my first day of work and would disappoint my co-workers and the children. I called out to Him for joy. I felt it missing in my life and was not sure where it had all gone. I miraculously made it to work on time, two minutes to spare. Before walking in I said a prayer of thanks and asked again for a joy, so that I could be there for the children.
Just like life, He doesn't tend to answer in an expected way. As I walked into the room of children I slapped on a grin and prepared myself for the day ahead. Gradually my spirits lifted as the pains of the days melted and the brightness of the children's smiles and laughter healed my soul. In their happiness, frustration, insecuirity and contentment I felt for them and comforted or encouraged when I could. I had forgotten how wonderful it feels to receive a hug from a child. They are all so beautiful for their differences. For their innocence. Oh how I desire to return to my youth. Where a single day did not seem to last an eternity. Where adults were people whom I could trust. How I wish their innocence could brush upon me just as their joy did.